Category Archives: Dating

Sex Tips From ‘American Horror Story’

Posted by Hill on November 7, 2011 No comments

You don’t always need to rely on dating magazines to provide you with expert sex advice, when you can just turn on the boob tube. Just in case you have been living under a rock for the past 6 weeks, F/X has premiered its new hit show American Horror Story and the ratings are booming! Only five episodes in, the horror/thriller show is highly addictive and there are already many things viewers can learn from watching it.

One can learn that moving into a house where people were brutally murdered is not such a good idea and it’s generally not a good idea to accept food from someone who admits her daughter spits in the food for guests.

Now although the show is centered around the Harmon family’s haunted house woes, it also features some steamy xxx scenes that are quite memorable. At XXXmatch, we have learned some great hooking up tips from this show and if you’re interested, keep on reading!

1. Dogs Are No Substitute For Sex

In the show, married couple Ben and Vivien are having martial and sexual woes due to the fact Ben cheated on Vivien after she wouldn’t connect with him after Vivien’s tragic miscarriage. However, instead of dealing with her problems with her husband, Vivien decided to get a dog. Many women have tendencies to get pets when they’re having marital troubles and if you do not want your significant other hooking up with another, cuddle up with them instead of a mangy mutt.

2. Don’t Sh*t Where You Eat

So your wife hires a hot maid, (*well at least TO YOU she’s hot anyway) and she is coming on to you hardcore. What do you do? Keep it in your pants, that’s what! Never hook up with someone outside of your relationship who works for your family, works for you or more importantly, knows where you live.

3. Never Hook Up With A Woman With “The Crazy Head Tilt”

We’ve all heard of the “crazy eyes”, but there is also the crazy tilt as well. If you’re hooking up with a woman, who tilts her head with a crazed look in her eyes when things don’t go her way, run for the hills right now. That looks signifies trouble. She is going to mess your life up like Hayden ruined Ben’s life in AHS.

4. Jungle Fever Is Always Welcome

If you’re a woman and your husband has been constantly lying about his ongoing affair to you, then you have every right to seduce the good-looking black security guard that comes knocking on your front door. You know what they say after all, once you go black, you never go back. Do your thang, girl!

5. Always Use Protection….Rubber Suits Don’t Count

If you have super sperm like Ben or the creepy Rubber Suit man does, you should always be protected especially if you are sleeping with both your wife and your mistress.

How To Lose A Girl In 72 Days

Posted by Hill on November 1, 2011 No comments

So you go to the club one night and meet this incredibly stunning woman. She literally takes your breath away and for some reason she is totally enamored with you. You feel as if you met your perfect match. You have astounding sex the first night you meet and you are instantly infatuated.

However, after just a couple of weeks, you notice she puts little effort in the bedroom and the only workout you are getting is from your wallet. (This wasn’t the way you wanted to get ‘screwed.’) You start to notice the reason why she is so beautiful is because her looks are the only things in her life she puts any effort into. She’s an uneducated, gorgeous bore that somehow you got duped into dating exclusively.

Like Kris Humphries, you too can get rid of a girl in 72 days if you wish to get back to hooking up with other like-minded females, read the following guidelines below:

1. Forget Your Anniversaries and Dates

If you are dating a bimbo, then she most likely lists innate things such as weekly anniversaries or the anniversary of sending her your first official tweet to her as milestones. She is probably expecting a celebration of these milestones and expecting you to pay as well. Ditch your plans. Act suspiciously as to where you are. When she asks angrily, ‘Where are you?’ Respond calmly back with, “Where I am at.”

2. Eye Rape Other Girls

When you’re out with her, just stare at other girls. It doesn’t matter if they are good-looking or not, just keep staring. Make it obvious. She will not be happy.

3. Comment On Her Flaws

She may be gorgeous, but there are always things you can pick on. If she has a fat behind like Kim Kardashian, mention how her skinny jeans are unflattering. Comment on how her hair extensions look extremely fake and when she laughs, just cringe and tell her to stop.

How to Deal With an Open Relationship

Posted by Hill on October 14, 2011 1 comment

In a world where everybody is led to believe that seeking monogamous relationships is the only acceptable form of dating, it can put a damper on others who like being involved with an adult friend that is open to having an extra-martial sex life with others.

You would think there wouldn’t be so many rules involved with being in an open relationship, but you would be surprised. If you follow these guide lines and are genuinely comfortable with being in an open relationship, then you will not end up like Demi and Ashton:

1. Don’t Kiss And Tell

One of the cardinal rules to maintaining an open relationship is to never over indulge on details about hooking up with someone else. If they ask you, then of course don’t lie since you both have agreed to be in this kind of relationship. No matter how open a relationship is, there are some things better left unsaid.

2. Plan Your Schedules Precisely

When you’re in an open relationship, you are going to be busy, especially when it comes to planning date nights with other singles. It’s not abnormal having to plan dates in your blackberry in advance. You don’t want to double or even triple book. (Trust me, it happens. )

3. Hook Up On Your Own Time

Another cardinal rule you should know is that you should never ever leave your significant other to meet another person. That is just tacky! Just because you’re in an open relationship, doesn’t mean you are open to act like a complete jerk to one you are primarily committed to.

The Five Don’ts of A Dating Slump

Posted by Hill on October 5, 2011 1 comment

We’ve all been there. We’ve all been in a point in our adult dating lives where we just don’t have any luck finding a like-minded single to woo and have sex with. The worst part of a dating slump is realizing how comfortable it can be to stay in the celibate plateau.

Just like dating, there is are rules to actually not getting any as well. If you are in a dating slump, here are some cardinal sins you shouldn’t commit if you want this period of your life to be temporary.

Don’t Try To Eat Your Depression Away

I know it may sound tempting to give into all the fatty goodness around you when there is nobody to seduce around you, but please refrain from doing so. The more pounds you gain, the harder it is for you to get out of your slump.
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How To Not Look Like a Douche Online

Posted by Hill on September 19, 2011 No comments

Whether you are seeking an adult friend to date or to sleep with, there are certain necessary steps a man has to take when pursuing like-minded singles and sex online. You may want to put in as little effort as humanly possible if you want to score tonight, however, one wrong move can guarantee you the only xxx action you will get is from either ‘Palmela’ or ‘Handgela.’

If you are looking for some intense casual hookups online, here are some guidelines you should remember before pursuing your ‘target.’

1. Don’t post pictures of your face and body parts that are conveniently blurred out. Also, make sure your profile photo doesn’t feature any of your better-looking wing men. She might feel inclined to use you to get close to them. Also, whatever you do, DON’T post obligatory bathroom shot pics in a mirror of yourself. That is the easiest way to turn off a potential female match.

2. Use your biting, self-deprecating humor sparingly. Although it’s funny at times to poke fun of yourself, many women see this goofy behavior as as tactic to disguise low self-esteem, which is the number one mood killer for sexy ladies. If you know what is good for you, you will avoid joking about living with your parents, being unemployed, your physical flaws and the girl who recently broke your heart.

3. Don’t rely on cheesy one-liners and explicit dirty talk to get a woman’s interests. If you think she is beautiful, just say that. Don’t say, “I love how your shimmering hair sparkles in the sunlight” or “You’re so f*cking sexy. Want to screw tonight?” No matter what your intentions are, be yourself and be casual at first before drawing her in with your charm.

Happy XXXmatch Searching!

How To Snag A Porn Star

Posted by Hill on September 13, 2011 No comments

When it comes to adult dating, every guy has dreamed about the day of dating a porn star. Enjoying free sex with an adult film star is not as far fetched as those may think it is. Confidence is key and you don’t have to be a rock star, athlete or has been sitcom actor to attract a porn star in your life. If you’re looking for some helpful guidelines to make this dream happen, then you have come to the right place!

Contact Them Through Their Personal Blogs and Websites

Believe it or not, many female adult film stars have personal blogs about their everyday lives. Follow their blogs and leave meaningful comments. Don’t talk about how big of a fan you are at first. Relate to their passions and interests and get to know them as individuals. By making a unique impression, you will be able to stand out from all the other men that are desperate to nail your porn star.

Don’t Try Changing Them!

Porn stars are not looking for soldiers to rescue them. It doesn’t matter why they want to continue to make porn films for a living, they all ultimately want a man to love and care for them. If they want to settle down with you, let them make that decision on their own. Never give them ultimatums.

Keeps Jealous Feeling At Bay

There is nothing more unattractive to an adult film star than a boyfriend who is controlling and who throws their negative opinions about their careers in their faces when they are upset with them. If you want to date a porn star, you must refrain from acting out. You must accept that they have sex with other people for a living. If you are not cool with that, then your relationship will never work.

Be Ambitious!

Like any other woman, porn stars love when their boyfriends are ambitious. It’s especially vital to concentrate on pursuing your own goals and passions because adult film stars need the reassurance that their partners are in fact with them because they love them and not because they want to get famous by being with them. By concentrating on your goals, she will find that your most attractive trait.

Pursue Retired Porn Stars

Unfortunately, if you’re seeking someone like Jenna Jameson, you might never get the chance of even talking to an A-list porn star. However, if you’re seeking a former and retired porn star who doesn’t receive much attention anymore, then your chances have doubled. The Porn industry is a really harsh one and consumers forget the veterans because of they’re not hot young things anymore. If you make an older porn star feel wanted, then she will never let you go!